February 18th 2019 Depression After Surgery

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Josh and Joshettes we are bringing out the big topics. So is this post going to bring up some amazing statistics or some scientific data? Nope, this is a post about what I’ve experienced since taking my sling off. So let’s dive in.

Before we get into the main topic he’s an update on the situation first. It’s been over a week since I had my first follow up appointment with my doctor. The Doctor told me I could take off my sling and gave me a prescription for physical therapy. Sounds like good news right? It would be if my therapy had been approved. After leaving the doctor I immediately called my claim handler and I was greeted with a voicemail telling me they no longer worked there. That was on a Friday since I had things to do I decided to call up the company on Monday to find my new caseworker. I did as I planned and it took me only fifteen minutes to acquire the name and number for my new caseworker. Today is President’s day and exactly seven days since I first called my caseworker and two things still haven’t occurred. I haven’t spoken with my new caseworker and my therapy hasn’t been approved. I called my new caseworker and left messages every day. Luckily the nurse from the insurance company called me on Friday and after speaking with her she said that she will try to get my therapy approved. So that’s a quick update, so let’s talk about the topic.

Even though my arm is out of the sling I still can’t use it fully. Using my right arm in its limited capacity still produces immense pain. When I try to do simple tasks such as washing my hair or wiping myself, I am hit with pain that hurts enough to make a person cry. So is the pain the reason why I’ve been feeling down, actually no. One of the main reasons I’ve been feeling down in the dumps is because I can’t use my body like I used to. I can no longer sleep on my side, I can’t brush my hair, shave and at times put on my coat. I’m a person who took pride in the strength I had acquired over the years. I was able to do more than fifty pushups in a row but now I can’t even do three standing pushups on a wall. Needing someone to help me put on and take off a coat makes me feel helpless.

So what have I been doing since my last blog post? Nothing at all. I have been at home laying in bed or watching tv while letting the day escape me. I’ve been in a serious rut and haven’t done anything productive. I have bought three books yet I haven’t cracked any of them open. I haven’t even worked on my own book. I wanted to have it done by the end of March but it’s not going to happen, (I’ll touch on that in the next paragraph). I’ve only left my house twice since the surgery, once for my doctor’s appointment and then again yesterday. Have I at least spoken to people on the phone or through text, nope. I’ve been alone with just my thoughts. Sounds like a horrible thing, that’s because it is.

I could have ended it there but I didn’t because after leaving my house yesterday and actually talking to someone in person helped me. It gave me the idea to think differently about my situation. It’s always good to have a fresh set of eyes to look at a problem. So was there some special thing that was said that opened up my eyes? None what so ever, I did most of the talking and just vented over a 6-mile walk. After talking all that time, when I got home at midnight my brain was still going. I stayed up until 8 am thinking. One of the ideas I thought of was to stop writing my current book and pursue a different one that is more relatable. That sounds really dumb to almost anyone reading this. I loved writing my first book and was motivated to finish it I just don’t have the same enthusiasm for this book. So that’s why I decided to pursue another book that hits closer to home and would be a deeper story. Even though this new book will be harder to write and will push me to my limits as a writer, I am more motivated to write it than I am to write a sequel to my first novel.

The point of this post is just to say being depressed happens to a lot of people. It happened to me after my surgery and it was hard to deal with. The thing that helped the most was talking to someone, I’m not saying you have to go hire a therapist. Talk to your pet if you have to, just vent because you never know it helped me and might help you.

Remember to be successful it's your right, duty, and responsibility.